The Joy of a Hobby and the Demise of Hustle-Porn
I recently read a book called "The Weekend Effect: The Life Changing Effects of Taking Time Off and Challenging the Cult of Overwork." It was lifechanging. I've wanted to do a post about it ever since. Mainly because it may have been the first "self-help" or non-fiction book I've read that truly stuck with me... it was realistic and easily applicable and there were far too many "oh shit, I do this alllll the time moments." So as I finished the book, I knew... something's gotta give. There are changes to be made. I think about the key lessons of this book at least once a week and hope that maybe if any of you read it, you might find it helpful too.
The main focus of the book has been a pretty popular topic as of late - about how as a society we've almost fetishized overworking, and being busy now seems to be a status symbol. "Ah, busy!" Seems to be our standard response to anyone asking how we are. Which is not only a completely boring answer, but unhealthy. We continually perpetuate this idea amongst our circles that success or fulfillment equals busy.
The Weekend Effect also touched on how, once we carve out that free time for ourselves, it should be time dedicated to rewarding and self-fulfilling pursuits. The number of North Americans who take part in hobbies purely for the nature of enjoyment itself is dwindling. For instance, people are joining ski clubs as networking opportunities, or learning how to code so they can add another skill to their resume; they paint so they can turn their creativity into a small business. There is nothing wrong with any of those things - a girl’s gotta do what she’s gotta do, to make a buck. But the author's point was that everything we do is so purpose-driven, hobbies have become almost as stressful as our work. They have become "jobbies," if you will. There is a clear goal to achieve and if we don't achieve it, we've failed. Which really goes against the nature of a hobby, being a for-leisure, for-fun activity meant to learn something new or explore an activity.
In the section about free time, the author also touched on how in lieu of participatory hobbies, where you become actively engaged, most North Americans are turning to activities that allow them to totally disengage (read: Netflix and Chill). This book totally altered my perception, not only on work but on my relationship to my leisure time. It made me rethink and reprogram myself from the lean back, brain-off deference to Netflix, in favour of lean-in activities which demand active engagement. And although past-Maddie would have thought I'd be exhausted at this change of events, no longer able to decompress and zombify myself in front of my TV or collapsed in bed with my laptop, it was actually the opposite. I was energized, and motivated, and most importantly excited. I realized I had been stuck in a rut and part of the reason was that I hadn't felt fulfilled, mostly because I had no outlet or passion project outside of what I was doing for work.
The past few months after reading this book, I've made substantial changes in my life, impacting my work life and leisure time. I make it a point to be out of the office by 6:30 (with the odd exception for emergencies and big projects). There will always be more things to do, but at a certain point you need to ask yourself whether doing them that night will put you that much further ahead. Or you can give yourself a chance to refresh yourself for the next day, whether that be by going for dinner with friends, going to the gym to play a pickup game, or knitting a sweater... whatever floats your boat, or brings you joy, in the spirit of Marie Kondo.
So. Although this post turned into somewhat of a book review, turned motivational speech, my real intention was to get your creative juices flowing on alternatives to Netflix. Don't have a hobby? Don't think you're good at anything? Don't worry about it! That's the best part about having a hobby. It's about the experience rather than the outcome! The journey instead of the destination! Who cares if you suck at macrame? It might just be fun to try. Here are a couple ideas to get you started:
1) Sailing.
Although I just watched Adrift last night (it was great! But scary! Nothing more frightening to me than death by drowning!), I am still keen to learn how to sail. I'll probably start in Lake Ontario or at my cottage, rather than the Pacific Ocean, à la Adrift, but I think it would be a great way to spend a sunny summer day. And hobbies with a certain physicality to them always boost your mood with the endorphin rush.
2) Gardening.
Or maybe just grow a few plants inside first. Aloe vera is a pretty hearty plant, as is lavender, so those are good ones to start with if you are a beginner. It's really rewarding to take care of something and see it thrive because of your care. Do I sound like a plant mom? Not going to lie, I feel weirdly affectionate towards my plants when I see a new shoot or a bloom. So if the shoe fits. Plant mom, I am!
3) Knitting.
Not sure if anyone has been reading this blog long enough to know that I took a course through Parsons New School in New York about Fashion Essentials. For that course, I had to create a bag I had designed, which meant I had to learn to knit. A quick trip to Michael's, a few YouTube tutorials later and I was successful! Not beautifully but it was a start. And it was so relaxing.
4) Bouldering or Rock Climbing.
There are tons of indoor gyms around Toronto that allow for drop ins, like Joe Rockhead’s or Basecamp. It seems like a pretty fun way to stay fit and strong.
5) Reading.
Start with a goal to get you rolling - maybe one book a month? And maybe start with a theme? Learn about African American history, or read books with strong female leads or written by Canadian authors. Sidebar: don't pick a theme based on what you think you should know more about, practically. Choose based on what you love and are interested in, for the sake of a hobby. Turn this into a book club for maximum fun (add wine, charcuterie platters and girlfriends)!
6) Cooking.
Pick a cuisine you love. Master a couple recipes to make whenever you are feeling like you need a special pick me up or treat (even if it’s as simple as avo toast). I believe George Brown College offers courses in Toronto but there are lots of other smaller, neighbourhood cooking classes like Dish Cooking studio that do the same.
7) Pottery.
This one is on my to-dos list for 2019. I went to a craft show in December and decided I really wanted to take up a hobby that allowed me to use my hands and create something tangible. I'm excited to report back on how it goes. I've been looking into drop-in beginners classes at the Gardiner Museum in Toronto - only $15 a session!
8) Learn an instrument.
Whatever type you prefer! What's awesome is that there are tons of music students at universities who offer lessons for a pretty reasonable price.
9) Cross stitching.
This one is a bit random and seems maybe a bit grandmotherly. But there are so many cool cross stitch patterns! Look at this very nice monochrome one I found on Pinterest the other day...
10) Stand up comedy.
I have a couple friends who have taken up stand up comedy classes and swear by them. While it's definitely not my scene (stage fright galore), I know there are certain personalities who thrive on this sort of improv environment. Think of how this could spill over confidence in other realms! And all the laughs to be had!
11) Squash.
Squash was a very big activity at my fairly preppy university. I've heard it's an amazing workout and super fun because it's so fast-paced.
12) Macrame.
There's this really cool women's group based in Toronto called her-people. They run four-week sessions with a different activity every week, running the gamut from calligraphy to macrame. The point is to try something new while meeting new girlfriends. They might even be starting her-people getaways soon! Definitely suggest checking them out if you want to try something like macrame. Otherwise, YouTube is a modern day university for virtually any skill.
13) Sewing.
Imagine how cool it would be to see an outfit you liked in a magazine or on Instagram and then be able to make it yourself! That is my dream.
14) Jewelry making.
Just like sewing, imagine how fun it would be to be able to design your own jewelry. And think of how special it would be to give friends and family homemade earrings or necklaces for their birthdays or Christmas?!
15) Painting
No need to be Van Gogh. Personally, I've been getting really into abstract art and I think anyone can do that.
16) Woodworking or carpentry.
This may require a bit more of an investment to get all the materials and tools, but until you are ready to go it alone I believe Home Depot offers courses to start you off!
17) Calligraphy.
Ugh, I just love making simple things pretty.
18) Tennis.
A pretty cheap hobby to take up, once you have a racket and balls! There are lots of free courts around most cities and towns, so you can just pop by whenever you have a free night or afternoon. Again! Endorphins are the real deal!
19) Yoga.
This one is a very relaxing hobby and a good alternative to Netflix if you just need something to decompress and relax.
20) Geocaching.
I had NO clue what this was until recently but know that people get super into it. For those who still don't know, geocaching is an outdoor activity, where people use GPS or their phones to hide and seek containers, called "geocaches" in locations marked by coordinates all over the world. Kind of like an epic game of capture the flag.
21) Skate/penny/longboarding.
Especially as the weather gets warmer, this could be a really fun way to explore your city.
22) Curling.
A Canadian classic past time. Fun with a big group of friends, especially recounting who had the best game, over a pint or two in the bar afterwards.
23) Salons.
I recently started attending a couple different women-led speaker series, where the topics change from event to event. These talks tend to turn into discussions or thoughtful debates, which is always fun and interesting, especially with your peers. If you are based in Toronto, check out Elena's Club or Broadly Speaking.
24) Write.
This has slowly become one of my favourite outlets, mostly because it gives me a chance to talk about all my other favourite hobbies and interests (food, music, travel, art, fashion, literature, and design). You don't need to write for anyone if you are feeling shy, but I always find myself feeling lighter after I post a blog or write in my journal.
25) Sketch or Draw.
There are tons of events all over most major cities, for life drawing group sessions. Kind of like artist meetups, where you bring your own materials and spend a few hours in the company of your fellow creatives. I'm hoping to check out this one, coming up in April.
